Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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