i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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