It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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