This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
