If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
