you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Randomize
