I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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