Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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