fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Two words: blizzard sex
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
