Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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