I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize