There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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