so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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