puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
