i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
