dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
