Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
