OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
