This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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