I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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