You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize