I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
