windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
