He asked me if I "almost moaned"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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