brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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