Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
