i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
