This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
