And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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