Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It's blow job season.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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