if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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