Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
