How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
