READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
BRING THE BAGELS
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
