Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
