my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I wear drunk well.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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