So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
