Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
