aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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