You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
