She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
