Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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