His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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