So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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