babies were throwing up all over the place
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
