Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.

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(248): girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing. http://tfl.nu/feuq

Replies (17) Good night (646) Bad night (2446)
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(707): View more from California

OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.

(1-707): View more from California

Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.

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(707): OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy. (1-707): Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots. http://tfl.nu/h6l1

Replies (11) Good night (1418) Bad night (3066) Order T-Shirt
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(712): View more from Iowa

I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.

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(712): I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good. http://tfl.nu/eno8

Replies (4) Good night (4602) Bad night (428) Order T-Shirt
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(601): View more from Mississippi

He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.

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(601): He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal. http://tfl.nu/idbe

Replies (12) Good night (654) Bad night (3483)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on

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(717): some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on http://tfl.nu/6iv3

Replies (24) Good night (7422) Bad night (717) Order T-Shirt
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.

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(612): Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now. http://tfl.nu/y7cf

Replies (35) Good night (4012) Bad night (1584) Order T-Shirt
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(314): View more from Missouri

There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."

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(314): There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run." http://tfl.nu/6vvj

Replies (17) Good night (6871) Bad night (828) Order T-Shirt
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(904): View more from Florida

masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap

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(904): masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap http://tfl.nu/sdgt

Replies (9) Good night (3530) Bad night (743) Order T-Shirt
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(503): View more from Oregon

you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you

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(503): you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you http://tfl.nu/l62c

Replies (4) Good night (2073) Bad night (1020) Order T-Shirt
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone

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(262): put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone http://tfl.nu/kic6

Replies (16) Good night (3522) Bad night (607) Order T-Shirt
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(360): View more from Washington

Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.

(253): View more from Washington

you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.

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(360): Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone. (253): you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker. http://tfl.nu/ov6f

Replies (3) Good night (2450) Bad night (921)
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(928): View more from Arizona

You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?

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(928): You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect? http://tfl.nu/nafu

Replies (1) Good night (399) Bad night (1098) Order T-Shirt
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Beer bonging to Ave Maria

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(484): Beer bonging to Ave Maria http://tfl.nu/1lbd

Replies (8) Good night (640) Bad night (273) Order T-Shirt
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(801): View more from Utah

She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.

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(801): She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime. http://tfl.nu/hokk

Replies (1) Good night (802) Bad night (224)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.

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(864): I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something. http://tfl.nu/s8xu

Replies (6) Good night (657) Bad night (185) Order T-Shirt

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