If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
zippers are such a cool invention
Four minutes until I can fart!
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable