I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.