mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
seriously i just wanna be friends
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.