Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread