Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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