In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
