i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
