i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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