I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
