I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
