love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
