So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
