Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
