An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He passed out mid-signature
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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