I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
please come you make the beer taste better
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize