Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
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