So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
