You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
