No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
