I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize