Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
