he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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