My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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