shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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