I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
